The First Week of Self Employment
Belmont Winery, Bluemont, Virginia, USA. Visited on June 1, 2014.
My mien is affected. I smuggle a smile inside an unworthy worry wrapped in a burning desire. I’m happy and nervous. Wherever I abode, ordinary living has no hold on me. Uniform expectation and obligation cause me to doze. These hills are high enough to make the air feel fresh. I’m with friends and a lover. I’m free. I’m on my own and it’s not as scary as it should be. Incontrovertible grape. The old-school days of sucking down a bottle of wine, sequestered in the apartment, killing time until it was time to write – those days are over. Now all the time is all mine. Everything depends on what I do now and how lucky I am. How good and lucky I’ll be with whatever opportunities present themselves. I can’t wait to learn something new about myself. I should be at work, but I work for myself now. My schedule is my schedule. There will never be another day like this one. The first day after you quit a job is exciting, even more exciting when you decide never to work in an office again.
Ah, grape vines on the rolling hills of Virginia. You look at me all sultry. We have a good time with our friends. We sit on the patio jutting over a hill, and I have the sensation of being held up by stilts. Between us and the ground is mostly air. Before us is a wine bottle in a bucket of ice.
When it’s time to go, I skip down the stairs. We commemorate the day with a photo that captures the sky and the mountains. I wish to be barefooted and wandering. Happiness is elusive, but I only flee when there’s something worth chasing.